We take along a carrot As refreshment for the parrot, And a little can of jungleberry tea. Charles Edward Carryl (1841-1920)


I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the parrot can’t seem to act like an eagle. After a while, though, to keep the movie from getting boring, maybe put in some pornography. Later, we see the happy parrot flying along, acting like an eagle. He see two parrots below and starts to attack, but it’s his parents. Then, some more pornography.

Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

But hot damn, we are whirling now.

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Remember that you have been whirling your whole life. It began during the summer in that eerie reenactment of the Black Death better known as “Ring-Around-the-Rosie.” You did it on the midway Tilt-a-Whirl. Then in that stare-up-at-the-sun-and-spin way of adolescence. Now you drink excessively, lie on your bed and let the ceiling do the rest. The lesson is: there is divinity in whirling. It is one of the great unmitigated human activities, like picking Himalayan flowers and humming Raffi songs.

13 Things The Whirling Dervishes Can Teach You About Spinning Until You’re Dizzy Enough To Puke

“The Wild Wood is pretty well populated by now; with all the usual lot, good, bad, and indifferent-I name no names. It takes all sorts to make a world.”


“‘Beyond the Wild Wood comes the Wide World,’ said the Rat. ‘And that’s something that doesn’t matter, either to you or me. I’ve never been there, and I’m never going, nor you either, if you’ve got any sense at all.'”
– Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows