Category Archives: CODEPENDENCY

When she can’t bring me to heel with scolding, she bends me to shape with guilt.  Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing

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“Star Wars: Clone Wars: Chapter 21 (#3.1)” (2005)

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I know this will generate debate, but I suggest that in this time of war, we forego the trials and promote my padawan Anakin to Jedi Knight. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi: [by Hologram] Young one, the council requires your presence, immediately. 
Anakin Skywalker: I’ll be right there, master. 

Anakin Skywalker: If I’m late for another scolding, does it really matter? 
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Scolding? You’re not a little boy any more. But as long as you’re my student, you will heed my wisdom. 
Anakin Skywalker: You’re right, I’m not a little boy. And as far as your wisdom is goes, you’re no Qui-Gon Jinn! 

Obi-Wan Kenobi: And now we must leave our roles as master and student. It is time we became…brothers. 

A doll floats downstream; carrying with it prayers; spring has come at last.

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‘Overdose’

last week,  I think on Tuesday,

she died

just gave up breathing

toppled over

a big smashed doll

with the needle still in her arm

I made a funeral of leaves

and sang the Book of Questions

to her face as white as hailstones

to her eyes as closed as heaven

                                   ‘For Ann so still and dreamy’

Dransfield,

http://printedshadows.wordpress.com/category/australian-poetry/michael-dransfield-collected-poems/

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The Mail (Adelaide, SA : 1912 – 1954), Saturday 7 February 1953,

1 1 1 1 1 1 √The Mail (Adelaide, SA - 1912 - 1954), Saturday 7 February 1953,

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The paper dolls

Yesterday
we had to dance
for a visitor’s amusement.
Today
we are pinned
to a wall.
Our pencilled eyes
can’t blink away the dust.
Pale, thin,
we grip each other’s hands
and tremble
whenever the door
open
Peter  Bakowski

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The Sydney Morning Herald (NSW : 1842 – 1954), Saturday 21 January 1928

1 1 1 1 1 1 The Sydney Morning Herald (NSW - 1842 - 1954), Saturday 21 January 1928

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“Neighbours bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between. Boo was our neighbor. He gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a pair of good-luck pennies, and our lives. But neighbors give in return. We never put back into the tree what we took out of it: we had given him nothing, and it made me sad.”

― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“Love conquers all,” Aphrodite promised.

“Love conquers all,” Aphrodite promised. “Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?”
“Didn’t they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?”
“Pfft. That’s not the point. Follow your heart.” 

― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

 

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“Silent. So it should be. You have no place in this world, Luthiel. And there is no other.’ Zalos reached out and lifted a few strands of her hair. ‘Bright songs and the magic of hope are but a dangerous illusion. The fake comfort of witches charms.” 

― Robert Fanney

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me. Song title by Jimmy Buffet

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“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.” 

― Greg Behrendt

I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible and when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people.”

 

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foto storm over raleigh nsw australia 2013

The storm

My mind swirled
like a storm that day:
my mouth the wind,
my heart the rain.

The fire scorching in her soul,
the deluge poured and did annul.
Her ship awash on eddied seas,
the wind a breath to bring her peace.

Dark thunder broiled with bodies toil
as Thor did rend from sky to soil.
I gave the girl a quenching passion
and left a rainbow in refraction.

 David Donovan

http://www.independentaustralia.net/australia/australia-display/the-repellant-australian-poetry-scene,3868

Some other Hand than mine was on that helm during the night.

Captain Arthur Rostron, reflecting on his safe passage among the icebergs to the lifeboats.

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“She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would’ve done anything for him. Some people are like that. Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out—your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take you down with it. I’ve seen that happen to a lot of people here. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.”

― Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram

“A great master does not move his puppet if there is no reason to do so.”

—Bunraku instruction manual, quoted in A. C. Scott’s The Puppet Theatre of Japan

http://www.aaronshep.com/author/quotes.html

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“Because to take away a man’s freedom of choice, even his freedom to make the wrong choice, is to manipulate him as though he were a puppet and not a person.”

― Madeleine L’Engle

 

 

A second component in our inventory is discovering the roots of our addictions and codependencies.

http://www.12step.org/the-12-steps/step-4.html

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“Ultimately, ‘how’s it going?’ is the most futile and the most profound of questions. To answer it precisely, one would have to make a scrupulous inventory of one’s psyche, considering each aspect in detail. No matter: we have to say ‘fine’ out of politeness and civility and change the subject, or else ruminate the question during our whole lives and reserve our reply for afterward.”

― Pascal Bruckner

We mustn’t make the mistake of thinking we can heal our alcoholic/addict parent. That is up to them, and them alone

http://facweb.northseattle.edu/jlearn/HEA%20150/children.htm

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Above all, some days you don’t care what becomes of papa. Better have him come to some harm than to harm someone else, you say grimly or philosophically, according to your mood. The quick sympathy, the feeling of tenderness, when he becomes sober and penitent, is gone. It seems kind of good. Enough to feel sorry for yourself and the children without feeling sorry for papa. You tear out of your heart the image of the man he might have been – the man he was. Like having a tooth pulled, it’s hard, but a relief.

http://silkworth.net/magazine_newspaper/macleans_magazine_dec_15_1946.html

“Tis pity wine should be so deleterious, for tea and coffee leave us much more serious.”

~ Lord Byron

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“You have to get away from them. You have to get as far away as you can otherwise they’ll kill you with their lives. They don’t know what they do. They are careless with themselves and they take too much for granted. They make their shortcomings your problem. The only way to keep your head above it and heal your wounds is to crawl away.”

― Henry Rollins, Black Coffee Blues

Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper in sinks into the mind.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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“If you want to marry me, here’s what you’ll have to do:
You must learn how to make a perfect chicken-dumpling stew.
And you must sew my holey socks,
And soothe my troubled mind,
And develop the knack for scratching my back,
And keep my shoes spotlessly shined.
And while I rest you must rake up the leaves,
And when it is hailing and snowing
You must shovel the walk…and be still when I talk,
And-hey-where are you going?”

― Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

You don’t accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.

― Kinky Friedman

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Even eminent chartered accountants are known, in their capacity as fishermen, blissfully to ignore differences between seven and ten inches, half a pound and two pounds, three fish and a dozen fish.  ~William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954