Category Archives: AMENDS

Teams share the burden and divide the grief.

Doug Smith

http://www.heartquotes.net/teamwork-quotes.html

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“Sometimes carrying the burden of an upsetting truth, and hiding it, is actually a gift you give to someone else. You bear that burden, so they don’t have to, in a situation where telling them will change nothing.”

― Cassandra Clare

“Imagine the choices you’d make if you had no fear—of falling, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval.”

— Martha Beck

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Thus have I, as well as I could, gathered a posey of observations as they grew; and if some rue and wormwood be found among the sweeter herbs, their wholesomeness will make amends for their bitterness. ~Lord Lyttleton

Being gentle means forgiving yourself when you mess up.

” We should learn from our mistakes, but we shouldn’t beat the tar out of ourselves over them. The past is just that, past. Learn what went wrong and why. Make amends if you need to. Then drop it and move on.
—Sean Covey

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The Power of Speech

Judaism is intensely aware of the power of speech and of the harm that can be done through speech. The rabbis note that the universe itself was created through speech. Of the 43 sins enumerated in the Al Cheit confession recited on Yom Kippur, 11 are sins committed through speech. The Talmud tells that the tongue is an instrument so dangerous that it must be kept hidden from view, behind two protective walls (the mouth and teeth) to prevent its misuse.

The harm done by speech is even worse than the harm done by stealing or by cheating someone financially: money lost can be repaid, but the harm done by speech can never be repaired. For this reason, some sources indicate that there is no forgiveness for lashon ha-ra (disparaging speech). This is probably hyperbole, but it illustrates the seriousness of improper speech. A Chasidic tale vividly illustrates the danger of improper speech: A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends. The rabbi told the man, “Take a feather pillow, cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the winds.” The man thought this was a strange request, but it was a simple enough task, and he did it gladly. When he returned to tell the rabbi that he had done it, the rabbi said, “Now, go and gather the feathers. Because you can no more make amends for the damage your words have done than you can recollect the feathers.”

Speech has been compared to an arrow: once the words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray.

http://www.jewfaq.org/speech.htm

If ye do wrang, mak amends.

http://www.inspirationalstories.com/proverbs/haitian-if-ye-do-wrang-mak-amends/

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What is Maturity?

• Knowing myself.
• Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don’t.
• Admitting when I’m wrong and making amends.
• Accepting love from others, even if I’m having a tough time loving myself.
• Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
• Seeing that life is a blessing.
• Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
• Forgiving myself and others.
• Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
• Having the courage to live one day at a time.
• Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
• Caring for people without having to take care of them.
• Accepting that I’ll never be finished — I’ll always be a work-in-progress.

(from Courage to Change: One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, page 63. Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA)

http://www.creativegrowth.com/qquotes.htm

As my mother once said: The boys throw stones at the frog in jest. But the frogs die in earnest.”

― Joanna Russ, The Female Man

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“If you have to eat a frog, don’t spend a lot of time looking at it. If you have to eat more than one, eat the big one first.”

 

http://michelesworld.net/dmm2/frog/sayings.htm

Better to sit all night than to go to bed with a dragon.

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“I do think there’s always a way to put things right. If I didn’t believe that I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning, I wouldn’t eat breakfast; I wouldn’t leave the TARDIS ever. I would never have left home. There is always something we can do.”

― Paul Magrs, Doctor Who: The Stones of Venice

The mistakes I’ve made are dead to me. But I can’t take back the things I never did.

― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

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“The boogeyman sleeps on your side of the bed
Whispers in my ear :"Better off Dead"
Fills my dreams with sirens and lights of regret
Kisses me gently when i wake up in a sweat
"boo!”

― Gayle Forman, Where She Went

“Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.”

Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

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“There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful,
And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.”

Ogden Nash

“That’s a spiritual lifestyle, being willing to admit that you don’t know everything and that you were wrong about some things. It’s about making a list of all the people you’ve harmed, either emotionally or physically or financially, and going back and making amends. That’s a spiritual lifestyle. It’s not a fluffy ethereal concept.”

Anthony Kiedis, Scar Tissue

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“And no, it wasn’t shame I now felt, or guilt, but something rarer in my life and stronger than both: remorse. A feeling which is more complicated, curdled, and primeval. Whose chief characteristic is that nothing can be done about it: too much time has passed, too much damage has been done, for amends to be made.”

Julian Barnes, The Sense of an Ending

He that harmeth his household shall reap the wind.

It is a base crime to repay confidence by treachery, 
and to injure the friend who trusts us. Such crimes 

merit the severest punishment. 

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Æsop’s fables : accompanied by many hundred proverbs and moral maxims, suited to the subject of each fable"

foto – music at wide river cafe ulmarra

doug, andrew hegedus, izzy foreal, karl mullan.