Category Archives: BLAME GAME

May sleep envelop you as a bed sheet floating gently down, tickling your skin and removing every worry. Reminding you to consider only this moment. Jeb Dickerson  sevenagesofchild00well2_0047

“It was much better to imagine men in some smokey room somewhere, made mad and cynical by privilege and power, plotting over brandy. You had to cling to this sort of image, because if you didn’t then you might have to face the fact that bad things happened because ordinary people, the kind who brushed the dog and told the children bed time stories, were capable of then going out and doing horrible things to other ordinary people. It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, then what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do the bad things.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo


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Two monks were arguing about the temple flag waving in the wind. One said, “The flag moves.” The other said, “The wind moves.” They argued back and forth but could not agree. Hui-neng, the sixth Patriarch, said: “Gentlemen! It is not the flag that moves. It is not the wind that moves. It is your mind that moves.” The two monks were struck with awe.

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The Argument

It is windy out there. Back

home an argument continues.
We could be swimming, eating,
going for a walk, pointing
at a bird. Taking batteries
to the emergency. How many
birds do I have? Have I had?
The hydra in the sunshine.
I could be sitting in a
window composing the postal
service on an invisible grid
of trumpets. My skull could be
whizzing through weeks worth of
nests. I could be a fish,
on a train.

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“A clever wife often sleeps with a stupid husband.”

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All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”

Wayne Dyer 

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take the will for the deed

We must  always give people credit for their good 
intentions, even if they fail to carry them 
through: Take the will for the deed — she
would have come to visit you at the hospital if 
there hadn't been a railroad strike.

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Blame the Railways

Reprinted from the Staff, 20 May, 1924

If you read the caustic fudge
Printed in the ‘Daily Smudge’,
You’ll conclude it has a grudge
On the Railways.
Every day another growl,
It’s a squeal or else a howl,
Or some language almost foul
Re the Railways.

When the tragedies are light,
And there’s nothing else in sight,
That’s the time to have a bite
At the Railways.
So reporters off they trot
(Sometimes there are quite a lot)
Probing for some tender spot
Of the Railways.

Though it knows like you and I,
It demands the reason why
Fares are still ‘so very high’
On the Railways.
Readers of ‘ The Smudge’, ‘tis clear,
Must be taught to jibe and jeer,
Or must live in mortal fear
Of the Railways.

So, if Mr Newlywed
Comes home later than he said,
Then he has to ‘use his head’ –
Blames the Railways.
Or if Mr Like-a-lot
Stays to have a final ‘spot’,
What excuse d’ye think he’s got?
Why – the Railways.
If a tramway can’t be built
(Cos the State is short of ‘gilt’)
Still, ‘The Smudge’ must have a tilt
At the Railways.

If the traffic’s blocked by fogs
Or it’s raining cats and dogs,
And the line gets fouled by logs
Curse the Railways.
‘Praps, upon a scorching day,
There’s a fire in someone’s hay;
Though it may be miles away,
Pick the Railways.

If a colt takes sudden fright
At an engine in the night –
Smashes things up left and right –
Swat the Railways.
From some drummer’s sample box –
‘Spite of straps and ‘spite of locks –
There are mising ties and socks,
Charge the Railways.

Though we show in point of fact,
That the locks are quite intact,
Surely someone should be sacked
From the Railways.
If a lady sent a cat,
In a box made for a hat,
And it gets clean out of that,
Blame the Railways.

If some silk for Mrs Datch
Doesn’t just exactly match,
Who gets hauled up to the scratch?
Why – the Railways.
When there’s something ‘big’ in Town
(Like the Fleet – or the ‘Renown’),
‘Smudge’ says, ‘Service quite breaks down
On the Railways.

In hotels it’s just the same,
And the restaurants go ‘lame’,
And ther’s no one gets the blame
‘Cept the Railways.
Then a traveller, on the spree
(He’s been making rather free),
Finds a ‘spider’ in his tea,
On the Railways.

‘Course it isn’t there at all,
Isn’t even on the wall,
But it gives a chance to bawl
At the Railways.
So ‘twill be right to the last;
Be the service ne’er so fast,
People still the blame will cast
On the Railways.

And St Peter at the gate,
When he asks them why they’re late,
May expect the answer straight:
“Please, the Railways”.

Once a naked troglodyte, On a bitter Winter’s night, Sat and shivered in his cave the whole night through!

The Boon of Discontent by C J Dennis

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“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” 

― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Hold the bottle up to the light; you will see your dreams are always at the bottom.

Rob Hutchison

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“Today is the time of my youth
I drink wine because it is my solace;
Do not blame me, although it is bitter it is pleasant,
It is bitter because it is my life.”
― Omar Khayyám



Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.

Erica Jong

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“Life can be very terrible,” he said. “One needs much courage.”
“To kill oneself? yes, I suppose one does.”
“Also to live,” said Poirot, “one needs courage.”

― Agatha Christie, Death in the Clouds

To be calm is the highest achievement of the self.

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Develop the mind of equilibrium.
You will always be getting praise and blame,
but do not let either affect the poise of the mind:
follow the calmness, the absence of pride.
Sutta Nipata

Curses on the garlic ragout!

― Anonymous, The Arabian Nights: Tales from a Thousand and One Nights


“But, look, it is good to have a dream so long as you do not let it gnaw at the substance of your present. I have seen men consumed by their dreams, and it is a sour business. If you cling too tightly to a dream—a poodle bitch or a personal sausage chef or whatever—then you miss the felicity of your heart beating and the smell of the grass growing and the sounds lizards make when you run through the neighborhood with our friend. Your dream should be like a favorite old bone that you savor and cherish and chew upon gently. Then, rather than stealing from you a wasted sigh or the life of an idle hour, it nourishes you, and you become strangely contented by nostalgia for a possible future, so juicy with possibility and redolent of sautéed garlic and decadent slabs of bacon that you feel full when you’ve eaten nothing. And then, one fine day when the sun smiles upon your snout, then the time is right, you bite down hard. The dream is yours. And then you
chew on the next one.”

― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here for?


“In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive. Don’t insist on your rights, don’t blame each other, don’t judge or condemn each other, don’t find fault with each other, but accept each other as you are, and forgive each other every day from the bottom of your hearts…”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

Mothers’ Excuses: Mother for me made excuses When I was a little lad; Found some reason for my conduct When it had been very bad. Blamed it on a recent illness Or my nervousness and told Father to be easy with me Every time he had to scold.


Edgar Albert Guest

1881-1959, written in 1920—Excuses

Francois De La Rochefoucauld.
Nothing is impossible; there are ways that lead to everything, and if we had sufficient will we should always have sufficient means. It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.

foto- raleigh bamboo 2010

It is useless to argue with a fool.

"The proverbs of Wales: a collection of Welsh proverbs, with English Translations"


Hahn, Thich Nhat

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument.
That is my experience.
If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.

foto – devon elf from ulmarra on a raleigh bookcase

He who is guilty is the one that has much to say. Ashanti .

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If you could choose your parents,… we would rather have a mother who felt a sense of guilt—at any rate who felt responsible, and felt that if things went wrong it was probably her fault—we’d rather have that than a mother who immediately turned to an outside thing to explain everything, and said it was due to the thunderstorm last night or some quite outside phenomenon and didn’t take responsibility for anything.
(D.W. Winnicott (20th century), British child psychiatrist.

foto – south of wollongong 2010

Ukiona vyaelea vimeundwa. If you see vessels afloat, remember they have been built. Swahili.

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In the mornings, ashamed—
    ’Twas the last drink he blamed,
Though the first was the matter with Jerry,
    With his nerve out of joint,
    He’d sneak down to Blue’s Point,
And he’d cross by the horse-and-cart ferry,
Like a thief—by the horse-and-cart ferry.

Henry Lawson

1867-1922, written in 1908.


foto – yamba-iluka ferry dec 2009

Shall we count offences or coin excuses, Or weigh with scales the soul of a man ?

"The Swimmer" : Adam Lindsay Gordon

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If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
(Chinese Proverb)

foto – pelican at iluka dec 09

The creaking wheel blames the badness of the road.


Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank Him for not giving it wings. Ethiopian


I praise loudly, I blame softly.

Catherine II of Russia


foto – urunga street parade 1970s.

Fa’alupe tumulifale. Like a pigeon sitting behind the hunter’s hut. The hunter is interested only in those wild pigeons that appear in front of his hut. Samoa.

Samoan Proverbs


As Thurot in his cabin lay, he dreamed a dream, That his grandsire’s voice came to him and called him by his name ; Saying, Thurot, you’re to blame for lying so long here.

Mona miscellany : a selection of proverbs, sayings, ballads, customs, superstitions, and legends, peculiar to the Isle of Man

foto – cabin at tyndale nsw 2009.