Category Archives: SAFETY

A rickety chair will not long serve as a seat,

0 CHAIRS

FOTO- chairs at bellingen growers’ markets

and speaking of an entirely different kind of chair

Beware of plastic stacker chairs

BARRY KEARNS

Trevor’s on a mission to Consumer Affairs,

trying to get a ban on plastic stacker chairs

He reckons that they’re dangerous, a serious threat to life

Cos it was through a plastic chair that he got into strife.

It was at the Tamworth Festival, a concert in the park,

Trev and Ken were there, with gear to last them until dark.

An esky full of coldies, Trev was without a care-

Stubbies, thongs and t-shirt, on his plastic stacker chair.

But as he stretched his legs out, his left crown jewel rolled free,

and dropped through the chair seat, a real catastrophe.

But Trev remained unaware of his dire situation,

Until they gave the singer a standing ovation.

As Trev rose to his feet he gave a fearsome yell,

Cos tethered to his testicle,

The chair came up as well.

He grabbed the chair with both hands as he crashed back to the ground,

But the errant family jewel was well and truly stuck he quickly found

He tried to extract the enclosed cod but he began to curse

Cos nothing he did seemed to work, it only made things worse.

Trev’s mate Ken was laughing fit to go right off his brain,

Ken’s tears were from laughter but Trev’s were from real pain.

Ken produced a Stanley knife and Trev’s mouth went dry,

He said “I’ll only cut the chair” but Trev wouldn’t let him try.

Well Ken climbed underneath the chair and tried to poke things through,

It’s times like these when you find out what your mates will really do.

They pulled and poked and prodded but all efforts were in vain

Trevor’s nut was red and raw and giving heaps of pain

All this unwanted attention was no good you realise,

Trevor’s tortured testicle swelled to twice its size.

Well the word spread quickly througT the Park,

And people tried to get a glimpse of trev’s threatened castration.

Mums and Dads and kids and dogs of every age-

Trev got more attention than the singer on the stage.

Little kids were pointing, dogs were trying to have a smell,

And Trevor, trying to cover up, said “Go to Bloody Hell”!

“Poor bloke needs an ice pack” was the only good advice,

So they sat Trevor over his esky, with his agate in the ice!

Someone called an ambulance, and they drove through the crowd,

Trev was drinking Bundy rum, and swearing very loud.

When the ambos stopped laughing they carted Trev away,

to the hospital where he was the highlight of the day.

Well Trevor’s now recovered, with both crown jewels in place,

But don’t offer him a plastic chair if you truly value your face.

And next year at the Festival Trevor will be there,

wearing tight undies and long trousers, on his canvas fold-out chair.

Night calls, frogs, not sleeping . Miranda Aitken

http://www.australianpoetry.org/misc/night-calls-frogs-not-sleeping-2/0 0 taleofmrjeremyfi00pott_0016

And while Mr. Jeremy sat disconsolately on the edge of his boat—sucking his sore fingers and peering down into the water—a MUCH worse thing happened; a really FRIGHTFUL thing it would have been, if Mr. Jeremy had not been wearing a mackintosh!

A great big enormous trout came up—ker-pflop-p-p-p! with a splash— and it seized Mr. Jeremy with a snap, “Ow! Ow! Ow!”—and then it turned and dived down to the bottom of the pond!

But the trout was so displeased with the taste of the mackintosh, that in less than half a minute it spat him out again; and the only thing it swallowed was Mr. Jeremy’s galoshes.

by Beatrix Potter

“THE TALE OF MR. JEREMY FISHER”

The lizard brain only wants to eat and be safe. Seth Godin, Linchpin

 

 

From it’s heights, the lizard on the wall,
Like a super hero, leaps and  fall,
I jump on the chair, stand, stunned,
And watch it move..slither and run.

 Nishu Mathur, India

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The Sydney Morning Herald (NSW : 1842 – 1954), Saturday 25 March 1933

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“Trust because you are willing to accept the risk, not because it’s safe or certain.

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Historically, musicians know what it is like to be outside the norm – walking the high wire without a safety net.
Our experience is not so different from those who march to the beat of different drummers.

Billy Joel

Do not call the forest that shelters you a jungle.

~African Proverb (Ashanti, Ghana) african proverb

http://www.gadel.info/2011/03/african-proverbs.html

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If you are in hiding, don’t light a fire.

http://cogweb.ucla.edu/Discourse/Proverbs/Ashanti.html

Reprove your friends in secret, praise them openly.

Publilius Syrus

1 1 1 1 ads The Advertiser (Adelaide, SA  1931 - 1954), Wednesday 7 November 1934

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are – chaff and grain together – certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” —Dinah Craik

http://www.trans4mind.com/quotes/quotes-communication-relationships.html

To be ill adjusted to a deranged world is not a breakdown.”

― Jeanette Winterson

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When a dying man cries, it is not because of where he is going which he knows nothing about, but because of what he wishes he would have done in the world he is leaving behind.

nigeria

http://www.motherlandnigeria.com/proverbs.html

Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.”

― Bill Ayers

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Dr. Benjamin Spock: If we are ever to turn toward a kindlier society and a safer world, a revulsion against the physical punishment of children would be a good place to start.

Safety is as simple as ABC – Always Be Careful.

http://www.quotegarden.com/safety.html

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“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.”

― Kahlil Gibran, The Madman

The most precious jewels you’ll ever wear around your neck, are the arms of your children.

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“The wolf said, “You know, my dear, it isn’t safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone.”

Red Riding Hood said, “I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.”

― James Finn Garner, Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: A Collection of Modern Tales for Our Life and Times

Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished.

Og Mandingo

 

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“I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”

― Shana Abe

Safety doesn’t happen by accident.

http://www.quotegarden.com/teen-drivers.html

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“if the teenage kids want to carouse, that’s where they do it. They make bonfires, and drink too much and smoke dope, and grope around in one another’s clothing as if they’ve just invented it, and smash their parents cars up on the way back to town.

― Margaret Atwood

When brothers agree, no fortress is so strong as their common life

– Antisthenes.

http://www.lotofquotes.com/brother_quotes_sayings_about_siblings/

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“Lies are a little fortress; inside them you can feel safe and powerful. Through your little fortress of lies you try to run your life and manipulate others. But the fortress needs walls, so you build some. These are the justifications for your lies. You know, like you are doing this to protect someone you love, to keep them from feeling pain. Whatever works, just so you feel okay about the lies.”

― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

A ship is safe in harbour, but that’s not what ships are for.”

Theologian William Shedd

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“Now Suzanne takes you hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From salvation army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For she’s touched your perfect body with her mind.”

― Leonard Cohen, Songs of Leonard Cohen, Herewith: Music, Words and Photographs

The stone unhewn and cold Becomes a living mould, The more the marble wastes The more the statue grows.”

Michelangelo

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“When fear and cold make a statue of you in your bed, don’t expect hard-boned and fleshless truth to come running to your aid. What you need are the plump comforts of a story. The soothing, rocking safety of a lie.”

― Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale

There are no safe paths in this part of the world. Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go.

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

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“Stop trying to make thing happen for yourself, and let them happen to you.”
― Irv Thomas, Derelict Days . . .: Sixty-Six Years on the Roadside Path to Enlightenment

“A secret is a rotting anchor, hidden in deep water. You drop it and convince yourself that it’s safe, tethered beyond sight. In that peculiar comfort, you forget that it binds you. And when a storm rolls in, it will not raise.”

― Michael Reilly, Mississipi

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“Listening to her, one experienced a deep uneasiness as of having avoided an urgent responsibility, like someone who, walking at night along the banks of a stream, catches a glimpse in the water of a white face or a moving limb and turns quickly away, refusing to help or to search for help. We all see the faces in the water. We smother our memory of them, even our belief in their reality, and become calm people of the world; or we can neither forget or help them. Sometimes by a trick of circumstances or dream or a hostile neighborhood of light we see our own face.”
― Janet Frame, Faces in the Water

Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. ― Rumi

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One Step at a Time
by Joseph Morris

In the morning with the journey all before us on the road,
It takes courage to begin, that is sure;
For the first step is the hardest, and we always think the load
May be greater than we’ve power to endure.
When the first mile lies behind us we can say, "Now that is done,
And the second and the third will soon be past."
So we trudge on through the noontime, and the setting of the sun
Finds us coming to our stopping-place at last.

People in general would rather die than forgive. It’s THAT hard. If God said in plain language. "I’m giving you a choice, forgive or die," a lot of people would go ahead and order their coffin.

― Sue Monk Kidd

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“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.

Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

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“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Adversity builds character. After a storm, things will stand on more solid ground than they did before.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Japanese_proverbs

036

THE STORM

The waves were breaking on the

rocks,

The wind was howling near,

And all the ships were safe at

dock,

Or tied up to the pier.

http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article23227505

Flies will swarm before a storm.

the old proverbial recovery through ancient eyes

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the SILVERBIRD 7

Dislocated ElderWoman . living the life of a run down old hermitage. simple poor and quiet

Little Fears

Flash fiction tales of humor, horror and whimsy

the SilverBird6

staying clean with wrinkles

Memories are made of this

I need photos to keep my memories alive

Don't Mind Me...

Psychologists aren't mind-readers... well, maybe we are.

Heritage Railways NSW Projects

Proposals to save various decaying NSW rail heritage icons and stations for the future

The SilverBird5

staying clean with wrinkles

The Hurt Healer

WRITER|WELL-BEING|RECOVERY|ADDICTION|DEPRESSION|ABUSE|FAITH|LOVE

THE SILVERBIRD 4

staying clean with wrinkles

Off-Dry

I got sober. Life got big.

Vienna's Classic Hollywood

Vintage Hollywood films and stars

treekeeperblog

Daily inspiration

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My life on four strings, by Chris Stafford

The Natural Bar Soap Company

NATURALLY ADVENTUROUS HANDMADE SOAP

The Scrappy Storyteller

a resourceful approach to imagination

Sechy's Diary

travel, fashion, art, musings

Storyshucker

A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

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